i am dylan jacob, and i will morph into LL Dee Jay, just to say...
DON'T CALL IT ADDICTION

ha. maybe i'll morph into tracy champman to say, "give me one reason to leave here, and i'll turn and walk on out".

i go to casinos because i am boring. nothing interests me, and only gambling and writing for my website can hold my attention. there's no reason to do anything else, because i'll end up being bored with it. i'm taking a break from writing "neutral state of mind," my parody of "new york state of mind," and i'm just thinking. yes, i want something else to get me through this semi-charmed kind of life," and i have only taken to gambling, adult-bookstores, and writing...which i actually haven't been doing for a while.

many times when i have been lying on my bed, keyboard in lap, i have been conscious of my unfirm behind, and i constantly make "new year's resolutions" to join a gym and to get a firm body. if i am in a gym, even in my pool/exersize-greenhouse, i can exercise for an hour and stay interested. getting to a gym, or even inside the greenhouse, is what i do not do.

anyway, gambling can keep me occupied...and i don't need to get loose with phenibut, because i'm always in the mood to go to a casino. i have not been writing much of anything, and maybe that is the reason i have been frustrated enough to go to "career-link" type places, on a quest for a job (and a meaning to my life).

actually, thinking about the "career-link" place in the mall, i'm reminded of being there. i know there are "mall-walkers" who walk malls for exercise, and that may be something else for me to do. i sucked someone's balls yesterday, even humped him with my bendable boner, and "i can honestly say that "that don't impress me much".

over an hour ago, i took 1250mg of phenibut - 4 250mg pills and 2 125mg scoops. maybe that is the reason i am calm enough to be writing, or maybe i am calm because i have something to write about and focus on. maybe it's both. my unfirm behind is getting on my nerves...i would love to go to FLEX bathhouse in cleveland, where i can use their gym (and possibly their beds), but it's 2 hours away...and i don't want to leave my 14 1/3 year-old dog alone for that long.

it's weird that phenibut (or any drug) can affect my mood...i doubt if any drug can make me outgoing enough to want to introduce myself to strangers, though i would like that, i have been an introvert for my whole life. i could morph into paul simon to say that i'm "still introverted after all of those drugs". ha. let me quote maggie sheffield: "i like my shell". let me quote brighton sheffield: "if you get really close to maggie, you can hear the ocean". ha.

aerosmith said "if you do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got". and i do want something else to get me through this semi-charmed kind of life, but i always had been content with writing for my website, so maybe i'll start writing again. i'll start swimming in my pool again, as soon as i get the filter running, and i guess i'll join a gym. i'm gonna post this page now, so i can get back to my "neutral state of mind" parody.

check out my site, www.jaggedlittledyl.com , unless you're there now